A list of things my housemate has threatened to stick up my arse

Thursday, 8 July 2010

I gave one client the final push he needed towards quitting his job as global advertising executive for a huge (and often unethical) multi-national corporation, and another the correct pronounciation of the word 'bumfudge' - so it's going well.

I'm still living with my friend Diana in Palermo, Buenos Aires, who likes to respond to bad behaviour by threatening to shove things up my arse. Last week I said I would start to keep a list of all the things she threatened to insert into my muckbox, so here it is for your browsing pleasure:

- Frying pan
- Dumbell
- Her fist
- Bottle of mineral water (sparkling)
- A basil plant
- Electric toothbrush (switched on)
- Sledgehammer
- A tube of Jorgito biscuits
- Banana (ripe)
- Hairbrush
- 'One very huge dildoh'
- Dining table
- Butternut squash (knobbly)
- Some burnt croutons
- A fork
- El Obelisco de Buenos Aires (67 metres tall)
- An oversized apple
- Cactus
- The prong of a laptop charger
- Sweeping brush (extendable)
- My own balls