On the Occupy movement, rabid alsatians and the difficulties of juggling democracy & progress

Tuesday, 20 December 2011


My adopted sister Nuee told me that the Occupy London Stock Exchange movement 'liberated' a new building last night - an abandoned court house in the East End of London. The intention is to hold mock trials of the government and the '1%'.

This homeless bloke walks into a bar...

Friday, 28 October 2011



I finished at the gym and stepped out into one of those dark Scarborough nights that smells like frost and dry leaves.
I walked through the empty high street and up towards the bus stop. A man was slumped, surrounded by bags stuffed with his belongings, in the doorway of the bank. He noticed me looking at him.
“You couldn't spare a quid for a coffee could ya?”

Pigeonwrist

Saturday, 8 October 2011


You know your last night in Bangkok is going to be good when it begins with vicious local rum and a free tattoo.

On Pattaya

Friday, 30 September 2011



I was afraid that if I wrote something about Pattaya - the city where I've been living and working - it would come across as bitter, shitty and lacking perspective. My flight home is booked, however, offering me fresh perspective.
If I stayed here much longer, the city would turn me into a long-term bitter shitbag, I think. Or more so than I am already.

Bangkok at night with Ladytron

Saturday, 17 September 2011




I met an old friend at a bar which sits in the shadow of a Bangkok Sky Train station.

"You're gonna love it here man, if you're a young farang then you're like a fucking rock star. I've been with 47 girls since i've been here - 45 of them were Thai. Around 4 of them were ladyboys but I was too drunk to care by the time I noticed."

On Intellectual Materialisticness and Toilets

Friday, 9 September 2011


It was Autumn when I left London yesterday. Yellow leaves spiralled towards the ground, spiky green seed pods lay open, loosely clutching shiny brown conkers.

The 1st Annual Cheapskate Film Festival

Thursday, 23 June 2011


Every so often someone will reference a 'classic' film in a conversation. If it so happens that you haven't seen that film, the person is likely to react incredulously, dragging you into a world of consumer guilt.

Spain - Is a spoiled vote a vote for democracy?

Sunday, 5 June 2011


Hey Samuel! How is it all going? I hope everything is Ok.

Well, I am writing to propose you, if you like, to write a short text (15-20 lines) for coverage in my newspaper about the 'spanish revolution', with which we seek views of people who have interesting things to say about it. 

On being arrested and America

Friday, 20 May 2011

"So basically they cancelled the second part of the return flight because we didn't take the first."
"Fuck it, let's drive back."

Unravelling the mystery of the Jejune Institute

Tuesday, 12 April 2011


It all started from an email sent by a friend- Evan - a man whose acquaintance I had stumbled across after I had decided to smear sour cream across his face on a night out in the Mission District.

yo sam im up im the city today doing some wandering with a friend and was wondering what you're up to?
Never one to turn down a generous social gesture, I headed out to meet Evan and his friend, despite suspecting a revenge-sour-creaming.

Celebrate Saturday night with a naked handstand

Wednesday, 6 April 2011



On seasonal Saturdays in San Francisco city, teams of urban adventurers, some friends, some strangers, begin to submerge on a bar that has been chosen by their 'captain'.
At first, all seems quiet, just a few twenty-somethings in black t-shirts which display the word CLASH.
As the the clock starts to tick towards 9pm, however, the bar quickly fills up with excited CLASHERS - that is to say - participants in the California League of Adult Scavenger Hunters.

Chance encounters - Why I like San Francisco

Monday, 28 March 2011



The man, presumably a neighbour, was entering the elevator as I left our apartment door.
"Hey", he said.
"Hello." I replied.
Roughly 60 seconds later, as I reached the ground floor steps, he left the elevator and walked in front of me, also heading for the laundry room.
"Hello again", I said.
"Hey" he replied.

On guns, sex n' money (minus the sex and money part)

Saturday, 19 February 2011



I'd never fired a real gun before.
So when I was asked if I wanted to join a carpool to the Jackson Arms gun range, I figured it was the perfect chance to learn how to load, aim, fire, unload and blast the shit out of a paper target. Useful experience indeed, when living in a country where (according to a 2011 CBS poll*) 44% of households own at least one firearm.

The gun range itself, which resembled an indoor sports court (only with handguns and sub-machine guns for sale) was plastered with posters and t-shirts bearing pro-gun slogans:

Texting 'ChaCha' free answer service

Tuesday, 4 January 2011



My Amiercan buddy Han and I were bored, so we decided to text-hassle the people who write answers for 'Cha Cha' answer service.

Is this cha cha?
Yes, this is ChaCha. Wanna know how it works? Text 'How' to 242-242

How?
Half a million people use ChaCha. But you can just think of us as a smart find who answers your q's. All free to you because it's ad supported.

Why do people keep casting Vince Vaughn in movies?
Directors keep casting Vince Vaughn in movies because he is a recognisable face, which means more ticket sales.