The Collection of Horrors - Evil clowns and slutty piggy banks

Friday, 7 September 2012

"Somebody KILL MEEEEEEEGGHH"
I've always wanted to have a room dedicated to curios, relics and antiquities. Like a fusty old Victorian scholar, I could present them to my guests after dinner, before leading them back to the drawing room for a glass of brandy and a game of cribbage.

"Lesbian flour bath" & other odd google search terms that brought people to this site

Thursday, 30 August 2012

"Naked Limbo Dance"

Reading the information about your site provided by Google Analytics is both an enlightening and horrifying experience.
By far the most interesting part is a dissection of all the google search terms that have brought people to your blog.

On a man who lives in an alcove & entrenched political corruption as standard

Friday, 3 August 2012


There's a place in the dead centre of Padova, a long row of marble seating cut around the entrance of Palazzo Bo. It's the perfect place to watch the world go by in the evening; the sun falls low, staining everything gold, and the locals pass through town for that brief hour of relaxation in between work and dinner.

On Helen the Healer - White witch, psychic, Reiki master, Fairy Queen and Astral space traveller

Saturday, 21 July 2012


Like most people, I've been de-sensitised by the astronomical amount of jaw-dropping filth and inexplicable oddness that I've seen on the internet.
It takes something pretty special to keep me on a site for more than 14 seconds, and that's where the wonderful Helen Demetriou comes in.

On the Italian family and some sandals

Wednesday, 11 July 2012


Today, a pair of designer sandals travelled to our lakeside village in Italy.

A friend of Nonna (Grandma), who lives in Menaggio, the next village along, had transported them to us on his way home from work, so that we might take them to the tailor and have new straps fitted onto them.

Watching the big game with the Italians

Monday, 25 June 2012



The last month has hosted the European Football (Soccer) Championships. England and Italy both qualified from their respective groups, and played each other in the knockout stages last night. I watched it here, in Italy, outside a small, lakeside bar.

You've heard of human trafficking... how about bicycle trafficking?

Saturday, 12 May 2012



I received a text message, from my special friend, at 8.15 in the morning:

Your bike is gone. They left your lock in my basket.

I'd locked my rusty, fixed-gear bicycle to a lamppost outside the house. And surely enough, as I shuffled outside (with bare feet and shit hair) to investigate, the bike was gone.

Eggs, flour and plastic tits - Festa Di Laurea

Wednesday, 18 April 2012


 













Dott-ore, dott-ore
Dottore del buso del cul
Vafancul! Vafancul!


(Doctorate, Doctorate,
Doctor of the hole in your arse
In your arse! In your arse!)

On Venice Carnival and peacocks

Sunday, 19 February 2012


 I was one of thousands of tourists who travelled to Venice Carnival armed with an SLR camera this weekend.
Upon arrival at Santa Lucia train station, we met some mutual friends, one of whom had lived in Venice for some time.

Boxing day in Scarborough

Monday, 9 January 2012

 I did a video:

http://youtu.be/i8RyYE7kYtU


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