On Helen the Healer - White witch, psychic, Reiki master, Fairy Queen and Astral space traveller

Saturday, 21 July 2012


Like most people, I've been de-sensitised by the astronomical amount of jaw-dropping filth and inexplicable oddness that I've seen on the internet.
It takes something pretty special to keep me on a site for more than 14 seconds, and that's where the wonderful Helen Demetriou comes in.
I first came across Helen's videos when looking for a link to Carl Jung's incredible & bizarre red book.

I found a link on the site Temple Illuminatus, before looking around the site & discovering that this veritable temple of enlightment actually contained barely enough knowledge to fit inside Tinkerbell's chuff.

But whilst clicking around, quietly scoffing and disinterestedly masturbating myself, I entered a 'witches forum' and found a link to one of Helen's videos, on 'How to deflect negative energy, or psychic attacks'.

The video featured a woman who looked a bit like that Doreen offof Birds of a Feather, blinking smugly & dispensing advice about 'wearing pieces of mirror and shiny objects' and advising people to wrap their houses in aluminium foil. After watching, I gleefully scrolled down to read all of the piss-taking comments, but there were none.
None.
Which, considering that I'd seen people being issued with death threats by other youtube users, simply for mispelling the Latin names of arachnids, was surprising.

Instead, like with many spiritual prophets such as Jesus, Buddha and Jeremy Kyle, all kinds of troubled people seemed to be drawn to Helen:

MsM425:
Hi Helen, my sister has been sending me psychic attack i have tried everything we have the same father who was in the occult she practices black magic, when i was 18 she stole my fiance' and had tow kids by hum she also sexually abused me, she just wont stop going after me she always says I was daddy's favorite my health is getting worse and i have lost friends and loved ones b/c of her. Please help.ps my DAD died in 2003
Helen, like jesus with the leper, had a wise and compassionate answer:

Helenhealer:
Blessings. Go to my channel and look for the video emergency psychic protection. The true gods, the Elohim/Anunnaki/Archons are very powerful and Goddess Inanna, an incarnation of Sophia in matter will protect you. Just watch my videos  xxx

Not one to waste my life being petty, I wrote a brief comment on Helen's 'psychic attacks' video:
Hi Helen, I live in a tough neighbourhood of East London. I get a lot of negative energy attacks from people on my estate in hackney, so I followed your advice and started walking around with the bathroom mirror hanging from my neck, and my car wing mirrors selotaped to the side of my head. The negative energy seems to have increased, if anything, so I'm planning to take it up a notch by making a giant dream catcher out of pipe cleaners and glueing it to my head. Many Celestial Blessings xoxo
before heading to her 'Emergency psychic protection' video, one of 469 videos that Helen has on her youtube channel, some of them attracting more than a quarter-of-a-million viewers.
The video begins with Helen presenting a Blue Peteresque guide to making home-made holy water, which she intended to pour in a blessed mop bucket & use as a holy floor wash, as she'd been 'messed with' by a spirit in her sleep.

I then went to Helen's website, where she offers her mystical treatments and knowledge (such as 'Shamanic Soul Retrieval') in exchange for enchanted sheets of paper called 'money', which can be used to obtain items such as toilet bleach, black eye-liner & a pack of 20 benson and hedges.

One of Helen's most expensive treatments is the Archangel Michael & Co. Space clearing and Protection.
"Helen brings with her the Archangel Michael and the Cleansing Angels (the perfect name for a christian rock group?) when she enters your home. With her skill and wisdom she is able to cleanse the chakras of the property and harmonise the energies. Helen is also able to visit your home astrally if you do not live in Cyprus. Through meditation, prayers and visualizations she can enter your home and carry out a space clearing. 150 euro."
The thing that will always fascinate me about 'mediums' and other quack peddlers is wondering whether or not they actually believe in their own hyperbole, or are only out to make money.
"Helen studied Beauty and Massage Therapy at college, and it was when clients favoured her to give massages that she realized she was channeling energy and relieving symptoms of pain at the same time."
In the case of people like Helen, I think it may be a combination of the two factors.  Perhaps she started out with a few confidence-building delusions about her special powers and 'healing hands', and was encouraged to expand her fantasies after having seen another magical mysterious psychic medium on TV.
Once she'd started expressing her grandoise, ethereal ideas, perhaps she then received a small amount of postive feedback, which concreted her ideas into what, for her, might have become a shaky reality that is doubtlessly impossible to remove with any 'facts'.
Her business, after all, is offering an 'alternative' to fact (ie fiction).

Anyway, if you happen to be as unhealthily obsessed by Helen as I am, I've trawled through the recent communication history of her facebook page, and posted some of the highlights here. It gives you a nice insight into the amount of time that Helen spends sending genuinely nice, affectionate messages to people, and also into the self-indulgent cycle of lunacy that makes a community of people fret about negative auras, cutting-demons and the culinary preferences of Zeus, King of the Gods.

Sash
I just saw your video on sending psychic messages and i am trying to ask the thoughtform but there is no yes or no ? what do i do ??

Helen Demetriou
if they say no or nothing then try again another time
(Ask magic 8 ball Helen another question!)

Aaron
 Hey Helen I was wondering if you know why I am having a strong sensation in the area of my brow and crown chakras?
Helen Demetriou
Maybe you are receiving an activation of the third eye :) and maybe its opening wider :)
(Maybe it's a headache :)

Andrew
Hey beautiful Helen , do you know what offerings Zeus prefers? Thank you , Blessed be.
Helen Demetriou
Hi Andrew :D  I usually give things like olive oil.
(Shit, I gave him socks last christmas!)

Becca
Hi helen :) should I eat more organic foods, in order to help me to connect with my angels better? and do you know of a good store where I could buy essential oils?
(Oil? Ask Zeus.)

Rodney
Hey Helen my friend and I are very much into ascension.. and building up our vibrational frequency. But sometimes when we get together we create an energy where we end up going out to bars and partying. This happens like once every week. I end up feeling really guilty... like i took a few steps back. I know poisons are damaging to DNA development... will this effect an individuals ascension severely??
 Helen Demetriou
lol there isnt wrong in having fun :P you need to have play time to have balance from your spiritual work :)
(Lol just don't vibrate too hard on the dancefloor lol)


Becca

Hey Helen, latley I've been working on meditation, and I have also been able to sense my guardian angels. I can also hear very small whispers from them. However, my ego keeps kicking in, telling me that the loving whispers im recieving are just my own thoughts . Can you please tell me how I can communicate with my angels so that I can actually hear them?
Helen
 Blessings. Firstly know that this is not your imagination or your own words. Secondly, cleansing your chakras twice a day will help you to tune in clearly to the spirit and celestial dimensions.
(Chakra cleansing lotion can be found at all participating Superdrug stores.)


Jonathan

Dear Helen i think i am a physic mediums can u help me i am disabled in a weelchair iam 24 year can u help me get storger in my gift much love Helen xoxo
Helen Demetriou
Blessings Jonathan, just watch my videos xxxx
(He already suffers from a disability, do you have to infict your videos on him, too?)

Indigo
 Hello Helen :) am wondering if I could ask you a very important question?
Do you have any information about how to get rid of a cutting demon ??
I AM very serious ... a family member has this problem - a child. It just started ... only 2 cuts - razor blade - she's been in hospital a week - she told the counselor and people there she saw a ghost also - but I saw a whole group of dark orbs at her house 5 years ago and did a cleansing .... and there has been signs of dark energy there - but, what now ?? Much appreciated. Deb
 Helen Demetriou
Blessings Deb.  This is very very serious. Call on the Goddess Inanna and tell whoever is in the house to leave that they are not welcome..that in the name of Inanna they are banished! SHOUT IT! Stamp your foot. Let me send you some videos here, and when you have watched them email me, ok?
Indigo
Thank you for your answer - I appreciate your time as I haven't money to pay psychics like Sylvia Browne or Gary Spidey - Or James Van Praagh for that matter. Deb.
(Helen may not provide the luxurious, high-end ghostbusting of James Van Praaaagh, but her foot stomping advice is fucking good value for money.)

Sam Sherwood
Hi Helen. I've watched all your videos, thankyou so much for being such a huge inspiration! I have a question for you.
I was meditating on my balcony a few days ago, and a benevolent bearded figure stood in line with my inner eye. He complimented me on my spiritual progress, but then said that to progress more, I should realize that things that i practice, like aura cleansing, angel calling, mind reading, religious ceremonies, reiki, tarot, acupuncture etc. are all silly intangible practices. The only possible benefit of these practices would be one of placebo, he told me, and the downside - possible medical complications arising from believers like me abandoning their tried-and-tested medicine in favour of an alternative therapy that doesn't actually work, such as in this case..
He conceded that some of the practices are harmless enough, perhaps offering a little false hope for vulnerable people, but that to be truly enlightened, people should rise above these false, indulgent rituals and just enjoy the tangible things that are; the amazing things that are all around us, all the time, like rivers, mountains, birds, thunderstorms, tadpoles, sex, art and love.
 He then stroked his beard, before opining that 'there's more truth and beauty in a single human heartbeat than there is in a thousand healing crystals'.
My question is - do you think there's some truth to this, or do you think he's only trying to close my mind and fill me with negative energy because he's a malevolent hellbeast-demon?
Celestial Blessings xoxo
Helen Demetriou
Blessings. No, I believe he is a projection from the dark brotherhood trying to make you stop your spiritual practices which will stop you becoming more enlightened. A being of light would tell you to enjoy both and encourage you and thank you and praise you for your efforts. The more enlightened you become the more you are helping to turn our world around.

--------------------------

For more satire, travel articles and micro-fiction, like Sam's facebook page, The Daily Guttersnipe. 

17 comments:

Lupus Animus said...

You are hilarious my friend. You also need to see some psychiatrist. Attacking a woman in this gay way for what many other people are doing is not a healthy practice. You should ask for her help.

Lupus Animus said...

And you are so shameless prick that you also insult all this people because you are just SICK and for no other reason. As about this whole spiritual biz you can lough now Mr Sick nobody. Lough with your stupidity and ignorance while you still can. Lough also with the crop circles that are made by 2 drunk guys. lol Lough even with what is in front of your eyes because you are just a mentally sick soulless humanoid piece of shit that needs to attack people for no reason.

Lupus Animus said...

As about Jung you are not enough to wash his feet brainless and soulless ape. For a comedian you are just fine. You are just a human joke anyway and you do not even worth to breath the air of the people you are insulting in this pathetic gay post. If you cant be ashamed for you stupid and worthless self and remove this pathetic gay post is because you are a worthless piece of shit and you will not escape from your reality Mr Sick Nobody and i can help you with this if you like. Just call my nick name Lupus Animus before you go to sleep and i will rip in pieces what is left there in your whore soul. She needs a lover believe me this is why she is so sick and left you alone with your dead brains.

Lupus Animus said...

I just found your post in a brain dead skeptics forum mocking an innocent woman and her friends. A woman that helped so many people with what she is doing and this is why she has 7000 youtube subscribers. Delete this fucking post or i will fucking hunt you in every way i can stupid useless piece of shit.

Lupus Animus said...

Your mother should be ashamed that she brought a useless piece of shit like you into existence. You obviously have a dick syndrome and you cant stand your self and your tiny little dick. Anyone can see from your stupid face that if someone punch you to death, he will do a favor to you and to the universe. You do not even worth to breath the air of the people you try to insult. Just give me a reason to have an unhealthy obsession with a useless piece of shit like you and i will even start creating videos for your tiny little dick issue.

Sam said...

Hi Loopus Animus, I know that you wouldn't dare make a video about my tiny dick issue (and post the link to said video in these comments) because you would fear the consequences of such an action. Yours, Samuel

marie said...

That was entertaining as hell.

girlwithagoodbook said...

"you are just a mentally sick soulless humanoid piece of shit that needs to attack people for no reason."

Wow. The irony. Wow.

Amar Utu said...

So all the burnt gay people who are decedents of monkeys gathered here and this parasite of existence still thinks that her brains worth more than my shit. lol You are among the most pathetic clowns in the universe and you do not even worth the air you breath and all of your bitches souls are sealed. Lough while you still can. Here is something for brainless apes who think that they skeptics to think about (like they ever do lol): http://www.anunnakicouncil.com/anunnaki-avatar-888/
Goodbye and have a nice burning in hell useless parasites and keep advertising us. lol

Amar Utu said...

As about this poor man who posted something about Archangel Michael it really made me lough to see some brainless descendants of apes trying to give answers to spiritual issues through the mental masturbation of their pathetic 3d fartelligence that the whole universe is laughing with. lol Please post this in this pathetic forum because they didn't let me in when I tried and I do not really wish to waste my energy or even my spit for humanoid clowns. Here is more info about Archangel Michael. Keep laughing and keep entertaining the universe hilarious and worthless humanoids. lol http://www.anunnakicouncil.com/the-cosmic-christ-1032/

Amar Utu said...

Keep your tiny dick to insult and attack women worthless and burnt abomination of existence. I have no more time to waste for a worthless trash like you. You can only advertise spirituality in general. You are the perfect example of a human joke. lol

Amar Utu said...

You are so funny little humanoid fart. lol So you think that is bad to make fun of other people? You are a walking joke why do you think that a video would make such a difference about what you are? lol Please continue trying to make fun of spiritual people and humiliate your self and all the brain dead idiots who think that their brains worth more than my shit and I also have to apologize that I got angry because of your sickness because you are already fucked in every way. You do not worth even my spit and if you have any more issues beyond of your psychosis with spirituality and the occult or whatever (and you speak about Jung stupid fart lol) because you are a gay descendant of monkeys with a tiny dick, a funny brain and a shit face maybe you want to make some more advertising for spirituality. Your offerings will be welcomed. Here is an article about the occult that hunts your soulless and brainless kind and there is also a quote about Jung. Keep laughing and keep entertaining the universe and don't worry about anything. You are fucked and there is nothing that you can do about it so just enjoy life and be happy and also tell all of those idiots in this pathetic forum that they are all fucked and please ask them to post more of this lovely stuff. Work for me before you will wake up in your last and eternal nightmare. http://www.anunnakicouncil.com/the-path-of-the-dragon-1146/

Amar Utu said...

Tell to this fartelligent ants that I suggest to call this forum with all of this mentally disturbed people 'The Parade of the Descendants of Monkeys' or better name it: 'The Rebellion of the Misfortune of Evolution'. lol You can see how pathetic this kind of people are, dealing with something that they cant even get close to and try to make fun and insult people about something that is far beyond their dead brains and their 3d fartelligence. lol I am still laughing with this hilarious guru of farts who tried to use his fartellligence to limit the spirit into the 3d reality and within the limits of space and time. lol It is like the school for spiritual retarded who have nothing better to do than to try to humiliate within their cage of illusions that which they will NEVER reach and I am helping you to this direction since this is what you want. You do not have to worry about the spirit any more and you do not need to have unhealthy obsessions because you are already burnt and there is nothing that you can do about it and now I am just wasting my time again with you because you are a waste in general, but you are so fucking funny. lol You can start praying or something like all of this religious freaks but it will not help you in anything. Be a 'skeptic' (this is the most ridiculous title that the brain dead people could use lol) and do not fall into this crap. You are much worst than this. You are the lowest there is and unfortunately for your kind evolution can be really cruel, almost so cruel as the psychotic/possessed 'skeptics' who are hunting spiritual people because they have the false impression that their fartelligence raise them above spiritual people. Your mirroring have just begun and just try to stop the evolution and entertain more the universe. lol You are so fucking funny. lol

Amar Utu said...

girlwithagoodbook you do not have to worry about my soul because I have signed a contract and all of you will meet my soul and I will take all of you one by one a trip to the depths of Abyss to introduce you to some black friends I have there with huge dicks and teach you what YOUR soul does NOT worth and how pathetic and useless your sick fucked up brains are and I will make your wishes come true. I will even take to this trip ALL of those that are just members of this trash forum one by one and even those that have nothing to do with this pathetic attack against an angelic soul such as Helen's and there is nothing that can change this. Even if you change your mind I will not. As you can understand I am not Jesus and if you want to meet my soul you can invoke Satan or Azrael and keep thinking of me and I may pay you a visit in any form you like to give you an idea about the contract you have signed when you chose to attack an angelic soul and support this burnt and worthless prick. You can even invoke Jesus to save you to offer me more entertainment and I may even come to you as Jesus to explain to you how the solar serpent can wrap around you and choke you to death and suck the last drop of life force out of you. You have nothing to worry about because you have already chose you destiny and there is nothing that can change this. If you want to learn more about your past and your not existing future you can read this. http://www.anunnakicouncil.com/the-divine-matrix-1086/ Do not bother to ask forgiveness from Jesus because it is too late. You are coming with me with your own will.

Joey JoeJoe said...

Amar Utu/Lupus Animus is actually the Helen in question and she....is....pissed!!!

lol personally I found the narration behind this article/blog rather amusing and can't understand where the hatred of the person commenting is coming from

David Rountree said...

She is a fraud. The artcle exposes her. She responds as only a fraud can. Threaten and attack. Well let her attack me. I dare her

yourtimeisup said...

Not to worry she will just invoked the DEMONS and LUCIFER himself which is whom she speaks with to channel all of her ghastly and pathetic imaginary messages and cast several spells on you and your family, it is what this ANGEL OF LOVE like she proclaims herself to be does to everyone and anyone and even to kind and sweet people who she is jealous of. All the duties of the witch of ages past to present. But careful now, she is a self proclaimed HOLY ONE, don't forget that boys. I love this article it was funny and very truthul and I see there are hundreds of them around the internet exposing the real whore of babylon, Dr. (hahaha stolen credentials!) Helen. You do realize that all of her supposed credentials are also stolen and taken from others right? Yes they are, she is the queen of plagurism. Thanks for the articles and don't worry about her DEMONS that she channels with, they are currently out of comission and her ass is about to get supremely fried, it's her turn now. Watch her shrivel into the witch that she really is because all of the nasty and lying spells that she's put on people and their children to get at them are all turning right back around at her now. Listen to the filth coming from her mouth and the threats in her comments. Angel of Love as I said and the self proclaimed BRIDE OF THE LAMB!!!aka WHORE OF BABYLON!